*puts on editor hat*
Okay, I love the topic first of all. Music is just amazing; it allows you to say/sound out your feelings and others can relate to them.
Only thing I really noticed were a couple of commas needed. A couple of lines are a little awkward, one of them being the second line of the first paragraph. In the second paragraph you used several colons, and those aren't really needed. You can just get rid of them really. They're a handy tool, but used mostly for separating ideas into lists. Some of the transitions are a little bumpy, but that's okay.
You don't really have to do much, it's all mostly grammar from what I noticed haha, and I can be a bit of a grammar fiend. Otherwise, very well done! You got your point across and explained it well